Australians
My grandfather once said that you can always hear an Aussie even if you can't see him. A very clever observation indeed. All the Aussies I've met so far are very obstreperous and I don't expect to meet any in the near future who will prove my grandfather wrong. My General Studies teacher , Mr Jxxx xxx (sorry can't name names here!) is an "Austrilian" as he so proudly proclaims. Although he is an absolute git and is eminently unqualified to teach, I think he's a great teacher. Everything except learning seems takes place during his tutorial sessions. In fact, I'm convinced the only thing he's qualified to do is to tell dumb "Irish men" jokes. You might have already guessed. Yes, we don't get much GS homework. Way kewl huh!
Here's something else mt Grand dad said " Australians
seem to be a very jolly lot. I can't figure out what's there to be so happy
about. They're only celebrating 200 years of parole."
Mobiles
No matter how useful they are, I still feel mobile phones are a menace to society. They are omnipresent and will always ring at the wrong time and place. How many of you have been absolutely pissed off by some bloke whose mobile goes off right in the middle of a movie or play?
It was just the other day that I was having lunch at a sidewalk cafe when my otherwise pleasant meal was rudely interupted by the loud crackling of a young man talking on this mobile. He was not the only one indulging in loud chit-chat because another patron whipped out his mobile as if in unison, and started broadcasting to the world his problems with the wife.
It is no business of mine to complain if mobile phone users want to use their instruments. But, is it too much to ask for a little discretion and more importantly, consideration for others?
Victims of inconsiderate mobile-phone users ought to stand up and scream "I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it any longer."
Recent scientific studies have shown that radiation emitted from mobile phone antennas may prove to be harmful to the human brain. Mobile phone users beware!!!
Students with Mobile Phones -
You aren't that important. You can always tell
if someone needs their mobile phone. They keep quiet
about it. Anyone who tells you they have a mobile phone doesn't need
it.
London
The kewlest city in the world. Need I saw more?
Aliens
Nope, I meant those dodgy foreign immigrants
not the X-files type. Those commies from China seem to be taking over the
world. They are simply ubiquitous I tell you! Singapore's swamped with
them. Sometimes, I can't help but feel threatened when I see a group of
them together on the streets.
Hmmm, perhaps it's they're spies sent to infiltrate capitalist countries
and spread communism!
I usually give Italians a wide berth even though many of them are earthshatteringly cute. Dunno why but I have this feeling that Italians are a dodgy lot. Once an Italian bloke working behind a a McDonald's till in London tried to pull a fast one on me. The change he gave me fell short of £1.20. When I questioned him about the error, he pretended not to understand English and broke out in Italian. A likely story indeed. How does one work at the till without speaking English? I demanded to see the Floor Manager but the Italian hurriedly returned me my change, gave me a free apple pie and apologized profusely (and fluently) in English. I bet that apple pie was never accounted for. One of my girlfriends went to Venice for her summer hols lost her $200 Sony discman when she sent it down for safe keeping at the hotel's safe! Nobody else knew had the code except the hotel's staff who happened to all Italians.
Despite what I have said above, I would
like to point out that I am not a RACIST.
I'm only just telling you what I feel. That's it! PERIOD.
Amsterdam
Hedonist capital of the world. A city second to
none but London. Great for sex and drugs. A very cheap place to visit with
the Pound Sterling running so high now. I visited Amsterdam in 1983
when I was only a wee baby and later in 1993. The only complain I have
is that all their signs are in Dutch and people seem to have difficulty
understanding simple spoken English. Seems like a bloody good place to
have sex all day long.
British Monarchy
I don't know why so many people are so upset with
the Royal Family. The world would be such a deprived place without
them. Oh come on...give them all a break! They're only human. Now tell
me, who's going to help sell newspapers or spice up those boring dinner
chats if the Royal family was squeaky clean huh?
Single European Currency
I hope Britain joins the Single European Currency.
Sterling is over-valued and it's hurting evryone's pockets especially those
of us who hope to study and buy homes there!
Sadomasochism
People who enjoy dabbling in S&M, bondage and all that crap are in my opinion a bunch of sickos. Gaining sexual gratification by being subjected to excruciating pain isn't love and affection; it's absolute torture. People into S&M are probably just as bad as pedophiles. They really ought to go for sexual counselling or even kept away from the public.
A message to all homophobes: Look at blokes who
are into S&M. They are the people who really are SICK and deserve your
hate and verbal abuses. QUIT attacking gays and lesbians. We
aren't really different from you str8 folks, except in just one little
area.
Cars
If you haven't already guessed by now, yes my favourite car make is none other than Volvo. I don't care what people say about Volvos being "boxy". In fact that's the reason why I like them! I'm sure you've all heard the saying " A Volvo is as solid as a tank". No kidding, it really is. My family used to own a Volvo 940 Turbo and my mum crashed head on into a speeding BMW 730i whilst turning at a crossroad. The Beemer's front was totalled but the dear old Volvo was still in relatively good nick considering that only the bumper and headlights were smashed.
You know what? I would strongly recommend all
accident-prone people to own Volvos. Pedestrians beware? =)
Alcohol
Now where would the world be without alcohol?
Probably a whole lot better than it is now! Please don't think I'm some
kind of alcoholic but everything seems to taste a lot better if you add
gin or vodka to it. Skeptical? Then why don't you try adding 2 parts
Pepsi to 1 part gin? I can't describe how heavenly it's going to
taste. Mmm... I can smell the gin already.